so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
