i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He has the fingertips of a God
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