I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
