I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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