I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
