wanna go halves on a baby?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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