This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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