i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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