i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
