i think my tv is drunk
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
