So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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