I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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