Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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