Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
