he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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