that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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