i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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