shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
