i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
