i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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