and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
