OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
