just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
