her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
