Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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