mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
