Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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