So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i came on her dog
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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