Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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