billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
