i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
