so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I believe in your delicious
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
its liver damage thursday
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