At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
