she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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