Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize