it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
