So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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