the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
