Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
