Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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