I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
