it's too hot outside to masturbate.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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