i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
