Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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