Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sorry about my life...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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