NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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