Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
