did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
