I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
