Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
