I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
