My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
