I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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