People with herpes should wear stickers.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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