The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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