So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
