i barfeds in our rink
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize