you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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