At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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