I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you didnt know i had herpes?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
