Betty ford says i'm here all night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
