If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
