walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sext me about skeletons
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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