Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
