even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
