I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
